Golf Trip, Up country NZ, part two

Thinking about our disastrous round at Taihape, I should have known what was coming, only I walked past this notice without it registering any reaction in my brain. You need gumboots to play the course !!









After the disappointing golf our Friday night road run further north, to Taumarunui, was a very sedate affair, Captain Tim, who was driving, had recently received a speeding fine and was certainly not going to risk another one. Roy had brought along with him his GPS system, which worked very well, including warning us of all static speed cameras along the way. We finally reached our destination around eight in the evening, and instantly started the celebrations with some aplomb, drinking beer as though we had been stranded in a desert for a week. I do not remember much about the rest of the evening, finally falling into bed at 0130.

Saturday morning I was really in no fit state to tackle the demanding Taumarunui Tarrangower course, the really hot conditions did not help any, but I have to admit it was a beautiful day, shame about the golf. I was test driving a new driver, but not a success, no way near as reliable as my Taylor Made R7 Quad.

Captain Tim and Roy must have been suffering a similar malaise, as their scores were also in the do not ask category.

Not having learned a thing about excessive drink and golf, its like trying to mix oil and water, we charged Gung-ho into the excellent bars and clubs in the Taumarunui township that evening. In the middle of all our revelry it was unilaterally agreed to spend some time eating curry at the local Indian restaurant. Can not remember what we had, but whatever it was it did not sit well with Captain Tim.

Sunday morning, competition day, poor old  Captain Tim had made at least four trips to the men’s locker room before teeing off. {there are pictures, but I am too squeamish to even look at them}

Needless to say none of us gained a mention at the prize giving presentation ceremony on Sunday, and amazingly I also missed the award for the worst player of the day. I think my saving grace was a birdie on the last. The prize is a shirt with a rather rude message on it, “I can’t play golf for sh**”  Which reminded me of the sheep crap round we suffered at Taihape, excellent par three or not, I am not going there again.

Just as we left the Taumarunui Golf Club, the heavens opened, and it chucked it down with bucket loads of rain for the four hour drive back to Paraparaumu. If there is anyone out there, who is not not of Maori descent and can correctly pronounce Taumarunui, please drop me a line. Personally I have reduced Paraparaumu,to just Param, and everyone knows where I am talking about.

If you would like to put your name forward for next years Kapiti Club mystery trip, please just email me, at  I don’t know why they call it a mystery trip, because we all know where we are going. We have to, otherwise no one would get there, Duh.

Golf Trip, Up Country NZ

Tim, Roy and myself set off at 9 am on Friday morning, three of us in Tim’s 4×4, make and model unknown, probably Japanese, we were in a tournament organised by the Kapiti Club. Roy had recently won his club championship at Waikanae Golf Club. Tim is the Captain of the Inter-Islander Ferry, and I of course am the CEO of White Dragon Golf. A really distinguished group, if I may say so.

Things were going quite well until it was decided to stop for coffee, I think about an hour and a half into the four-hour journey. Captain Tim pulled into the first coffee shop he saw, just as we entered a town called Foxton. The building did not look too salubrious, but the boys shrugged off the shabby appearance and went in. They both ordered coffee, one Latte and a Mocha-chino, it was a hot day so I pulled out a can of Coke from the chiller. Tim loves to eat, so he decided to supplement his coffee break with a beef sausage roll, a strange concoction, I did not like the look of it. When the coffee’s were delivered to our table I thought the mixture looked more like dirty washing up liquid, and apparently my observation was spot on as both guys remarked that it was the worst cup of coffee they had ever tasted. They dubbed it the worst coffee in the world, and later on the dodgy sausage roll would have its effect on Tim.

I have not named or even published a picture of this joint for fear of legal reprisals, but if you are ever in New Zealand and are driving  north through the town of Foxton do not stop at the first coffee shop over the bridge.

Our journey continued, we were on our way to play a round at the Taihape Golf Club Inc, Arnold Palmer had once played there and reportedly said that the par 3 12th hole was one of the finest he had played. Confident that this would be a good choice of golf course we happily drove past Rangatira Golf Club, where some others of our 20 strong party in total, were playing.

No sooner had we passed this delightful course when I received a call from Tony and Les, the two guys we were going to meet at Taihape, their car had broken down, some miles behind us, could we turnaround and go to back to help. So being the good Samaritans we executed a u-turn and went back to offer any assistance we could.












Les, arms in air in disbelief at his cars meltdown, Tony, in yellow and Captain Tim look on.

After a lot of deliberation the A.A. were called and a tow truck dispatched to our location. As there was not enough room in our car for both gentlemen and their golf gear, it was decided to dump Les and his gear off at Rangatira Golf Club, where the others would get him to our final destination.











Tony, waiting patiently for our car to return and pick him up.

Once Les had been delivered the four of us continued our journey to Taihape, some two hours later than expected, but still full of anticipation for the golf ahead.

Unfortunately Taihape Golf Course was not quite the delight we were expecting, and although we appeared to be the only people on the course itself, we still had to share the space with a couple of thousand Lamb cutlets {sheep}. They did not interrupt the golf by being in the way, they took off as soon as we came into view, it was what they left behind that caused all the problems. Sheep crap sticks to anything, including my ball as it was hole bound on one green. Arnold was correct about the par 3 12th, it is indeed a handsome challenge, but not worth the slog through the crap to get there.









Taihape Golf Club

I will continue the story of the weekend golf another time.